I am scared. The one person I ever knew who had a sleep disorder died last year. I never thought I would ever have to be evaluated for such a thing. It makes me wonder if my weight has just gotten to a point where it's caused this to occur -- or have I always had a sleep issue? Is it something I was destined to have with a short fat neck -- or could I have done something to prevent this?
Then, there is the actual study. I know I will have my own room -- but will it be like a hospital room or a hotel room? Two very different things. And the bathroom... is it a public bathroom or will there be one in my room? Again, very important and very different. I just envision myself with all kinds of meters and monitors all over testing me like a lab rat. How can a person actually sleep like that?
Then, there's the result. What if they find something? What if they find nothing? Too bad insurance doesn't allow for that. If a test finds nothing, I don't think we should have to pay for them. Like that $177 chest x-ray I had to check for pneumonia last year... negative. Should've gotten my $$ back. Same with this test/study. Although, if they DO find I have a sleep disorder, I'm sure the out of pocket cost of this study will be the least of my worries. Then I will have to think about ongoing treatment for it... <sigh>
I just want to be healthy. I want to feel like a healthy person again. With the fatigue, stomach issues and stress lately, I just can't seem to win. The new vitamins are helping, I think and hopefully this study will be insightful too. Then there is the stress element to tackle, which could be solved if I knock someone's socks off in my job interview tomorrow. But honestly, I can't even prep or think that far ahead right now!
I still have to make it through tonight...
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