Looking back - then looking forward...

I’ve never been one to throw a big stink or party ‘til I’m half dead on New Year’s Eve. I much prefer spending some quality time with fun company. So tonight, that’s the agenda! My husband and I are having a nice dinner out with some good friends… then headed back to their house to watch the ball drop, play some games and toast the New Year.

This past year had plenty of happenings. Some good. Some not-so-good. But, at the end of the day, my husband and I are blessed to celebrate our 7th (did I just say 7th!?) New Years together… and are heading toward our 2nd wedding anniversary coming up in June. Time flies when you are having fun!!

Birth of a Blog!
A blog was always something I thought about doing, but it only came to fruition this year. In fact, I just recently started a spin-off to document my recipes! So, I guess I should have said ‘Birth of the blogssssss’ LOL!

Wine and more wine!
My husband and I enjoy a good glass of wine just like anyone else. But this year, we’ve ventured to some wineries and up’d our wine intake significantly. It’s relaxing and definitely helped to block the stressful world out for a while.
 
 

1st year in the books!
One year of marriage has already come and gone. They say that the 1st year of marriage is the hardest. I suppose we are the exception to that rule! ;) While we faced our share of challenges, our foundation was solid and we were able to overcome whatever came our way. I love my husband even more today than the day we married… so excited for what is to come!

 

Friendships blossomed!
Our friendships continue to blossom. Christine & Marshall, although we became close during our wedding, that was magnified through the planning of their wedding which took place this past June. They continue to be two of our favorite people. Another up and coming pair of friends is Tommy & Steve. Tommy is Breezy’s brother, but we only began spending time with them after our wedding. Funny how that happened… They are SO fun to hang out with and well, I’m glad the friendship has grown with them. Another post-wedding friendship that came into its own was my ‘Beanblossom’. She helped me with some ideas and things for my wedding, but we really did not start hanging out until after. I’m definitely thankful to have a good work friend – but she’s become more than that. She’s my peep, yo!

My Hubby – College Grad!
Not only does my husband have a Bachelor’s degree, but he graduated this year with a Master’s degree as well. I am SO proud of him! He is definitely the most brilliant person I know (well, besides me, of course) LOL!

 

Finally sleeping!
After being so tired for so long, I guess I was used to it. Unbeknownst to me, I had a sleeping disorder and it was slowly shutting my body down. Within just a few days of starting treatment, I could feel a difference. And even though some days, I am still tired, I am a world away from where I was a year ago! It’s amazing what a little sleep can do!

Crazy for grad school!
I don’t know why. I sometimes wish someone would’ve talked me out of it. But I’m in it now and trying to stay strong. It’ll all pay off in the end, right? I tell you, when I have my Master’s in HR, somebody better be knocking at my door with a new job paying me 6-figures, ya heard!?

Home is where the heart is!
I’m super excited. We’ve put an offer down on a condo and are about to be first-time homeowners! Woot woot! It’s going to be the beginning of a new exciting chapter for us --- a place where we can grow, start our family and be the best Williams family we can be!

 

Just us!
After so many ups and downs, we are still ‘us’. I still get butterflies. I still miss him, even if it’s only been an hour or two. I still get excited to see him. I still love listening to him talk about the most random things. When all is said and done, he is my world. He makes my life worth living. He is my everything. My moonbeam.

 

Happy New Year! Looking forward to an unbelievable 2014!!

2013 in review...

What a rollercoaster year this has been! While some good things happened, we've definitely seen our times of adversity and struggle this year.

Let's start with the 'crap'.

1. Nobody called my husband for work. Not an interview. Not a job offer. Nada. It's ridiculous that people can't see how brilliant he is and how much he has to offer! Just praying the new year has some bigger better things in store for my boo.

2. Two words. Sleep Apnea. We both have it. Mine is like 3 times as bad as the hubs and it was a terrifying, earth-shaking prognosis, had I not been diagnosed and began treatment when I did.

3. My job was up and down. In fact, I almost lost it as a result of #2. But since I began treatment in Aug, things at work have been much better. And since my boss went back to her old self and not the strung out power tripped person she became when she was the interim CFO. Holy cow! Hope she never flips the script like that again...

4. This one is partly good (at least I hope it will be in the long-term) but for now, it pretty much stinks. Grad school! Ugh! I can't get motivated, I can't find my groove and I just need strength to get me through til the end.

5. Separations & divorces all around us! Geez, not sure what is in the water, but we ain't drinking it! Bill & Rhonda, Sam & Chip, Brandi & Bruce... just crazy!

And now --- for the 'good stuff'!

1. We celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary! While married life doesn't feel too much different than the life we had before 'I Do', there is something sweet about calling him my husband and knowing I truly have a partner for life.

2. My hubby got his Masters degree! He worked so hard to keep up with his studies and maintain a better GPA than his undergrad. I am so proud of him!

3. Weddings and babies everywhere! Weddings: Mandy & Tom, Breezy & Jason, Christine & Marshall, Ashley & Matthew and Salem & Bryan. Babies: My classmate Cassy had a baby boy, as did my friend Amy and her husband Brian.

4. We are in the process of buying our first home. As stressful and nerve-wrecking as it is, we are super excited. We're ready to start a family and begin this new chapter of our life together. I can't wait!

A bit overwhelmed...

Holy crap! There's a lot going on! As if work wasn't crazy enough and school wasn't overwhelming enough, now we're throwing in purchasing a condo and moving within the next 6 weeks. And - on top of that even, I received a summons for jury duty in the mail yesterday. 

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez! What happened to that line about 'God never giving you more than you can handle'!? I am thankful he is blessing us - but I need to find a method to the madness!

Ultimately, I decided I am going to submit a letter stating that I am closing on a home soon and will be doubling up on classes soon - and ask that they postpone my jury duty service. I have to at least try to get out of it. I don't think I can add that to everything else going on. The crappy part is: I've always wanted to do it. Hopefully they will be understanding enough to give me a pass this time and summon me when things calm down a bit.

I feel like my head is spinning. Like I'm going to forget something important. I haven't felt like this since I was planning our wedding. My only saving grace then was constant 'to-do' checklists. Perhaps I need to start that again. Make lists that I can check things off of and when I get one list accomplished, just start a new one. I have to find a way to keep it altogether... 

I'm lucky to have a husband who is supportive and will be a huge help in all of this. I'm just nervous about crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's. So much to do and so little time!

Paperwork is FINALLY submitted!!

FINALLY! Our condo paperwork came through... on December 23rd. After business hours. And the day before Christmas Eve. Not only did we have to meet with our realtor early Christmas Eve morning to sign the paperwork, but we also had to get a few other things together AND drop it off no later than Dec. 26th @ 5pm. The selling realtor is a real jerk. Obviously. You'd think he would be a bit more considerate due to the holidays (and the fact that our realtor was going to be out of town the whole week) 

We complied and dropped the paperwork off ourselves -- mainly because we just wanted it to be done so we can keep moving forward! Next step: The inspection!

The inspection is scheduled for the day after New Years. January 2nd. Again, I was not trying to be picky on the date/time because I just want to get it done. It happens to be our 19th month wedding anniversary too which is kinda funny. Maybe that will bring us good luck! We can hope anyways...

Wordless Wed - Christmas Edition!

Dysfunctional... and then some...

I'm so thankful for this space because this is something I can't say on Facebook or really to anyone except my husband. My dad passed in Nov. 2006. For a few months after, his family stayed in touch and included me on family gatherings (like Thanksgiving & Christmas). It was nice, but a bit awkward at times. With having such an off-on relationship with my dad (and his family, by default), it was hard to establish a close bond because of a lack of foundation. At the time of my dad's passing, I hadn't seen any of his family for about 12 years. I appreciated the fact that his family took me in after he passed -- but as time went on, their contact became less and less, then almost non-existent.

A few years later, I got engaged. With my dad not being here and my mom being out of my life, I asked my uncle (my dad's younger brother) to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. Initially he said yes, only later to back-out with some BS excuse. My aunt and cousin did attend the wedding - which surprised me, but made me happy nonetheless. Still - I don't hear from any of them. I reach out periodically and suggest getting together for dinner or just to spend some time together, but it never comes to fruition. I just don't get it.

Last year, I got a text from my uncle on Thanksgiving. Then I got a voicemail from my aunt on Christmas. Today, my uncle sent me a text wishing me a Merry Christmas (which spawned this blog). I'm just - frustrated. Why even bother to text or leave voicemails on a holiday if they're not willing to really invest in spending time with me or truly having a family-type relationship!? I was hopeful that after my aunt & cousin came to my wedding, perhaps things would change. Maybe they would welcome me back in and invite me & my husband to holiday dinners. I even sent a message to my cousin a couple weeks ago to ask if there was going to be a family gathering for Christmas. She said 'not that she knew of'. Not sure if I'm just out of the loop or if she just didn't want to say. A few years ago - even before I got married - my dad's other brother made a big stink when I was invited for Christmas dinner. I was instructed to basically come alone (because he doesn't like the fact that my husband is black). I told them pretty frankly that if my husband was not welcome, I would not be attending either. The other uncle and aunt do not share this mentality, but I wonder if my racist uncle is somehow indirectly 'controlling' whether or not I am invited to the holidays. OR, it could just be that I'm not considered family. I don't really know.

It just hurts. I know my husband's family is now my family too, but it really gets to me sometimes that I have none. My mother chooses not to contact me (don't even get me started on that!). My father's family sends a 'Merry Christmas' when they feel like it. It's more than I got when my dad was alive - but I guess I hoped someday, that would change. I always secretly hoped that one day, my dad and I would have a close relationship and I would eventually be a part of their family. He just left the world before that ever had a chance to happen.

I realize that I am not the only one with a dysfunctional family - but geez... Sometimes I just wonder what I did to deserve this! It's tough this time of year particularly. I am thankful for great friends. I am SO blessed with a wonderful husband. It just saddens me that I have no family of my own - my husband shared his family with me, but what did I have to share with him?

I just pray God will remove this hurt, frustration and bitterness from my heart. It really shouldn't be my burden to carry... If other people choose not to have me in their life or don't want to put forth the effort to have a meaningful relationship with me, that is THEIR loss, right?!

Where is... the paperwork...?

What a long week it has been!! Besides the fact that work has been absolutely NUTS, it's been a torturous waiting game on this condo offer. 

On Tuesday, we received a call from our realtor saying our offer had been accepted. I also talked to our mortgage guy, which was kind of scary. The original monthly figure was... terrifying!

After jiving some numbers (of course I would do this!), it wasn't so bad as I originally thought. It was just the initial shock of hearing that kind of number and thinking about finances. But once we squared that away, I was excited. Matt said we should be receiving addendums (paperwork) to sign and that he'd need me to sign and scan back to him as soon as possible.

So - Wednesday, I waited. I checked my email like every 30 minutes. Nothing. I finally called Matt that night to make sure there wasn't a problem. He said all was fine and he hoped to have the paperwork to me Thursday.

So - Thursday, I waited. Still nothing. I got a text saying he was still waiting on the paperwork. Friday, I waited. And you guessed it! Nothing. 

This waiting is exhausting. I am not the most patient person anyways, so I am not dealing well with this waiting game. I just pray that the paperwork comes in soon and that all of this madness will be worth it when we finally get into our new home...

Offer on the table!

On Sunday, we signed some paperwork to put an offer down on the condo we found the day before. The bad news was: There was another offer on the table. That meant negotiating a lower price was pretty much not possible. We had to be aggressive and we had to go in close to or at the asking price in order to get the place we wanted. So, we signed, crossed our fingers, prayed and waited.

Monday, there was nothing. Just silence. It was torture. I hardly slept. I just wanted to know. Did they accept our offer? Or did we have to start at square one again?

Who knew!?

Who knew that looking for a new home could be so stressful!? 

After some apartment hunting, it became abundantly clear that if we wanted more space in a nice area, it was going to cost us. So much that it would serve us better to pay an actual MORTGAGE. As scary as it was to consider purchasing our first home, we looked at some options and decided it just might be the smartest 'leap of faith' at this point in our lives. We are sick of living in a run-down apartment with ghetto neighbors and it doesn't make sense to continue throwing money into rent without seeing any fruits of our labor.

So - we jumped. I talked to a friend who was putting his condo on the market soon, so we took a look at it. Ultimately, we decided it was not the right fit for us. BUT, the blessing is that it reconnected me with an old mutual friend who happens to be a realtor. Although we decided not to pursue the friend's condo, Matt (the realtor) said he would be happy to work with us and help to find the right place for us. 

Rodney and I searched online for condos we thought we could afford and made some selections. We emailed 3 of them to Matt to set up showings. The next day, ALL 3 of them went off the market (1 sold, 1 got an offer & 1 seller removed to make repairs). Wow. Talk about disappointing, particularly for 1 which was a stand-alone and looked like a friggin house. It was quaint and the neighborhood was adorable... there was a little pond when you pulled into the subdivision and even a playground right across the street from the condo. It just had 'home' written all over it.

So - in the matter of a day, we were back at the drawing board. We sent Matt 3 more properties, one in the same subdivision that we loved before. Again, disappointments. The other standout set up a showing for us, only to cancel the very next day because an offer was on the table. Such a letdown! Another one sold as well, which only left us with 1 potential showing -- out of 6 condos we selected. We added a late addition to the list, which left us with 2 showings on Saturday.

The 1st was a foreclosure. We could see from the online photos that it needed a little work, a little 'tlc' if you will. But, nothing could have prepared us for what we would see upon arrival. There were stains ALL OVER the place. And not just muddy shoe prints... like I am convinced the prior owners were running a meth lab or something up in there. They also had splotches of paint over random walls, the microwave ventilation had been destroyed and it was just a hot mess. The realtor, even before we saw it, said he had been through foreclosures before and would not be surprised if we walked in and wanted to walk right back out. That is literally how it went down. I heard my husband in the next room say 'Oh Hell No!!' and I knew it was a wrap! 

Then came the 2nd showing. Unbeknownst to us, it was also a foreclosure. But it was nowhere near what the other one was. This one was well taken care of. The flooring was new, the paint was new, the cabinets were new. It had a fireplace, lots of space (including my husband's favorite, the walk-in closet) and lots of storage. It needs a fridge, but that was no big deal. Although we were trying to get away from being on the 2nd floor, we liked this place enough to throw that caution to the wind. As we were leaving, we decided that this was the right fit for us and told Matt we wanted to put an offer on it.

Wordless Wed!