Just one Friday letter...

To my husband:

First, I want to tell you that I love you to the moon and back.

 

I am so grateful for this journey of marriage thus far even with the challenges we've faced. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us and I have faith that some day, our hopes and dreams will become a reality. I look forward to the day when you'll be a father to our children because I know you will be a wonderful daddy.

You are my rock, my main squeese, my best friend. I can't imagine sharing this life with anyone but you. Thank you for all you do for me, for us. Thank you for loving me, even when I am not easy to love. Thank for your believing in me and supporting me no matter what. Thank you for doing the little things to take care of our home like lending a hand to mop or washing dishes or doing the laundry. I may not always show it and I may not always verbalize a 'thank you' for each thing... But I want you to know that your efforts don't go unnoticed and I really do appreciate all you do.

 

 

I am grateful for you. When I count my blessings, I count you twice (sometimes 3 times) I know I have been in stress/worry mode lately, but I just want us to be ok. I love you and want to do what's best for you, me and our family.

 

Love,
Me

Another Wordless Wednesday!

June 25th

A strange sensation came over me when I looked at the date on my computer this morning. June 25th. Why does this date seem so familiar? What is its significance? Or why do I feel like I should be remembering something?

As it turns out, the date is not all that significant. It is the wedding anniversary of my mother and her current dirt-bag husband. They got married the year I graduated high school so today marks 15 years. Kinda hard to believe. They knew each other less than 6 months and he definitely wasn't the person she thought she was marrying (stable with money) She did not have my blessing and I tried multiple times to talk her out of the whole thing. But she was hellbent. She wanted somebody to "take care of her" and because he had a house and was living high on his dead wife's money, my mom was fooled.

Come to think of it... this may have been the real turning point in our relationship. I always believed it was years later when my dad passed, but that is when the most drastic change happened, I guess. Prior to her marriage to Gary, my mom and I were close. For a lot of my teenage years, she played more the role of my big sister rather than a parent, which I didn't mind at the time. We talked about and did everything together, but when Gary came along, she began to treat me differently. Like she wanted the parental role now that I was over 18 and she had a new husband to give me orders too. I lived with them for a couple years, while having to help pay bills and keep us from getting evicted because Gary was too lazy to work. I finally realized it'd be cheaper for me to live on my own so at 21, I packed my things and left the "nest", as my granny called it. My mom and I still maintained a fairly close relationship though. We talked every other day and I saw her most weekends. She even ended up living with me for a while when they finally were evicted and lost everything. She did her share of complaining about wanting to leave the marriage, but she was all talk and no action. I have no idea how she is now since she stopped all contact with me. Of course, Gary is enjoying the hell out of that because he always wanted me out of the picture. I guess it was hard having me around being that I could see right through him and called him for the loser he was.

Wow. What a sham for a marriage. If my mother and her f'd up relationships did anything for me, they showed me what not to do. I never looked for a man who had money. And I certainly never sought someone to "take care" of me. At least, not in the way my mother did. I looked for a partner. A teammate. Someone who would have my back and support me no matter what. Someone to love, laugh and enjoy life with. I always believed it should be that simple and God showed me it was possible. I prayed for God to break the cycle of madness and show me that true love existed, one that was built on a solid foundation of respect, honesty and understanding. Rodney is all of those things... And then some... I am blessed every day I am able to love this man and call him my husband. He continues to teach me what love is all about and our marriage continues to prove that all of the BS I witnessed growing up and through my mother's relationships is not what marriages should be based on. I'm so lucky...

Rodney and I just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. Even though we have faced some challenges in our relationship and in our first year of marriage, I would not trade it for anything in the world --- definitely not a 15 year sham marriage with a Grade A loser. Hope my mother wakes up soon and realizes life is passing her by...

Another Wordless Wednesday!

 

Weekend Recap!

This last weekend was nice. Friday night, the hubs and I just made some burgers for dinner. Something quick and easy! Then we broke out the boardgames and enjoyed a little competition while talking about life and all of its mysteries.

For some reason, Rodney and I have the deepest talks while we are playing games or when we sit on the balcony and drink wine together. Random, I know. But those really are precious times for me. Some days, it feels like our lives revolve around TV, laptops, cell phones, etc. so it's just nice to have some focus time and good convo every once in a while.

LOL! Not really. The wine came on Saturday! We hit a local winery with our friends, Tommy and Steve, and had some free wine tasting. It was pretty darn tasty! It was actually a really pretty day, so we ended up sharing a pitcher of Sangria and a bottle of wine out on the patio while we listened to live music. Couldn't have asked for a better way to de-compress from the week! We had extra time so we ended up traveling down the road to another winery called the Grateful Goat!

Funny thing is that we'd planned to stop here on the way back from our Evansville trip but the day was a wash! This little place is right out of someone's basement, but the wine tasting was super cheap and pretty delicious! They even have one called "Vi-Agra"! LOL! There's a wine you don't see everyday! Too bad this little place is closing in a few months...

 

From there, we headed north to visit our anxious friends who are getting hitched next weekend. They are over-the-moon excited and well, I can't blame them. Married life is wonderful and I know they are going to have an awesome life together. We're definitely looking forward to celebrating their special day.

 

Sunday was just low-key. I had trouble sleeping the night before (I can't imagine why when I had plenty of wine in my system!) We went to early service at church and then had a nice couch nap together in the afternoon. I can't say we did much except bake cupcakes and make spaghetti for dinner... But that was perfectly fine with me! Rodney says that our life together is "simple" and I have to agree. We enjoy the small intimate moments as well as the big celebrated ones---as long as we are together, that's the most important thing.

"Free Your Mind" Friday!

• Car repairs suck... I don't care who you are or how much money you have... Back in the day, I used to keep a little "nest egg" for such unexpected expenses so they wouldn't reek havoc on my finances. But these days, there is no cushion and so I feel every little repair pain in my bank account. This would be the reason the blower on my car and the A/C hasn't worked properly for about 3 years. This problem child is in the shop now and I am just praying I have enough to cover the cost...

• No plans tonight. Just some much needed quiet time to relax and enjoy my husband. Too often after work, I am exhausted and out of the mood of doing anything but taking a nap! I hope to make a nice dinner and maybe play some games... just have a little time for us after this long hectic week.

• Tomorrow, we have a fun busy day planned! Our friends, Tommy and Steve, are Wine Club members! So, they invited us to hit a winery, do some wine tasting and enjoy the day tomorrow. We haven't hung out with them much without other friends around, so it will be interesting to see how we mesh. But I think it will be fun. I'm flattered that they invited us and that we get to wine taste for FREE! Hot dawg!! I think I need a wine club membership!

• After that, we're headed up to Christine and Marshall's! Just one week til they get hitched! I know she's probably about to lose her mind. I remember how I was a week away from our wedding. But, hopefully it's be a chance to relax, regroup and enjoy good friends.

• One final news bulletin. I am, in fact, going back to school. FAFSA is complete. Now I just have to complete the app, request my transcripts and pay the app fee. Classes will start on 7/15! Aw, geez! Ay dios mio!!

 

Another Wordless Wednesday