June 25th

A strange sensation came over me when I looked at the date on my computer this morning. June 25th. Why does this date seem so familiar? What is its significance? Or why do I feel like I should be remembering something?

As it turns out, the date is not all that significant. It is the wedding anniversary of my mother and her current dirt-bag husband. They got married the year I graduated high school so today marks 15 years. Kinda hard to believe. They knew each other less than 6 months and he definitely wasn't the person she thought she was marrying (stable with money) She did not have my blessing and I tried multiple times to talk her out of the whole thing. But she was hellbent. She wanted somebody to "take care of her" and because he had a house and was living high on his dead wife's money, my mom was fooled.

Come to think of it... this may have been the real turning point in our relationship. I always believed it was years later when my dad passed, but that is when the most drastic change happened, I guess. Prior to her marriage to Gary, my mom and I were close. For a lot of my teenage years, she played more the role of my big sister rather than a parent, which I didn't mind at the time. We talked about and did everything together, but when Gary came along, she began to treat me differently. Like she wanted the parental role now that I was over 18 and she had a new husband to give me orders too. I lived with them for a couple years, while having to help pay bills and keep us from getting evicted because Gary was too lazy to work. I finally realized it'd be cheaper for me to live on my own so at 21, I packed my things and left the "nest", as my granny called it. My mom and I still maintained a fairly close relationship though. We talked every other day and I saw her most weekends. She even ended up living with me for a while when they finally were evicted and lost everything. She did her share of complaining about wanting to leave the marriage, but she was all talk and no action. I have no idea how she is now since she stopped all contact with me. Of course, Gary is enjoying the hell out of that because he always wanted me out of the picture. I guess it was hard having me around being that I could see right through him and called him for the loser he was.

Wow. What a sham for a marriage. If my mother and her f'd up relationships did anything for me, they showed me what not to do. I never looked for a man who had money. And I certainly never sought someone to "take care" of me. At least, not in the way my mother did. I looked for a partner. A teammate. Someone who would have my back and support me no matter what. Someone to love, laugh and enjoy life with. I always believed it should be that simple and God showed me it was possible. I prayed for God to break the cycle of madness and show me that true love existed, one that was built on a solid foundation of respect, honesty and understanding. Rodney is all of those things... And then some... I am blessed every day I am able to love this man and call him my husband. He continues to teach me what love is all about and our marriage continues to prove that all of the BS I witnessed growing up and through my mother's relationships is not what marriages should be based on. I'm so lucky...

Rodney and I just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. Even though we have faced some challenges in our relationship and in our first year of marriage, I would not trade it for anything in the world --- definitely not a 15 year sham marriage with a Grade A loser. Hope my mother wakes up soon and realizes life is passing her by...