Today, I am thankful. Someone was definitely watching over me. It's crazy to think about your own mortality, but this week, I was given a rude awakening of just how close I came to leaving this earth. With that, I am more grateful than ever to be able to wake up to my handsome husband, have conversations with my dear friends and simply enjoy God's creations all around me.
I had a follow-up appointment this week with the sleep doctor. This is the first time I've seen him since the study and the staggering results that followed. I feel a million times better since I started treatment, but I guess I never realized the full scope of what my condition meant. At the rate I was going and with the severity of my sleep apnea, the doctor told me that my life expectancy was the same as a lung cancer patient - less than 5 years... I sat in my chair for a minute, silent and thinking about what that meant. Less than 5 years to live? I can guess that I've had this condition for at least 2 years already... so that meant I may not have lived to see 35 years old? 40, for sure, was out of the question. That is super scary. My husband could've been a widow. The doctor went onto say that, according to my stats, it was only a matter of time before my body literally began to shut down. In all honesty, I think it already was... Even today, after almost a month of treatment, I still get winded and worn out really easily. The doctor said that would continue to happen as my body catches up on all of the rest & oxygen it missed out on for all that time. Some days I may be able to get by on 7 hours of sleep, but some days, I may need 9-10... that is ok because it's my body recovering from the battle it almost lost.
I think about the full impact of sleep apnea and how lucky I am to be sitting here blogging right now. I was literally dead-girl-walking. And it wasn't even really attributed to being heavy or overweight. That is something I still want to work on because I want to get healthier for energy, pregnancy and just to have a longer life with my husband. Pregnancy... man, can you imagine if I'd gotten pregnant before I got treatment? Not only would I have been depriving my own body of oxygen, but our unborn child as well. That could've meant birth defects, miscarriages, etc. Also another scary thing to think about. I am still not crazy about how it all came to be... Getting backed into a corner or having my job & livelihood threatened was not the best way to discover I needed treatment. But I am thankful that God was watching over me and He sent me to treatment before it was too late.
Life is precious. Life is fragile. And it is also short... sometimes shorter than we expect. Tomorrow isn't promised. I am more aware of that today than I have ever been. I definitely want to hold my husband a little tighter and tell the special people in my life how much they mean to me. I am blessed in so many ways and I never want to take that for granted.
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