This is only the second week after starting back and already, I have zero desire to go. I didn't feel like this when I started the Associates or Bachelors programs, so why the heck am I like this now!? Maybe it's because the biggest reason I chose to go back really had nothing to do with the above list. It was student loans. The grace period had worn off. They were coming due and I couldn't fathom having to find the money to pay that on top of everything else. It's funny because some of my previous classmates were talking about continuing with school for that very reason and I rolled my eyes. I judged them. And now, I have gone and essentially done the same thing. I'm not proud of it. I know the additional school and the extra degree will be beneficial to me career-wise. But, if I already feel this way about school in the 2nd week, how the heck am I going to make it through 2 YEARS??
A few months back, when I started an online program with a different school, I recall being frustrated with their program, the adminitrators and the school itself -- but I was balancing schoolwork and doing well on my assignments. There was no way I could've stayed in that program - but it really had nothing to do with being back in school.
Perhaps, that is my issue. Being back in an actual classroom. Sitting in a class each week for 4 hours. Missing my husband. Having absolutely no time for anything on Mondays because I work all day and then go straight to school until 10pm. I never thought I was cut out for online classes, but maybe this time around, that is what I need. Spending 4 hours in a classroom (only 1/2 of that time being actually productive) feels like a waste of time. I remember feeling this before - but there were times when instructors would let us out early, etc. In a graduate program, I know the chance of that is slim to none. I just crave the comfort of doing assignments and having class 'discussions' in my pajamas at home.
The hinderance, at this point, of changing boils down to one class: Accounting. I dread this class... I took Accounting online to finish my Associates degree and then I took it in-class to earn my Bachelors. Accounting is hard either way -- but in-class was definitely better. At least there was an instructor who would go over examples, provide tips if we were having difficulty and there was an opportunity to take notes to help with homework. I looked at my schedule and Accounting is the 4th class I will take, starting on 3/7/14. That's exactly 5 months away. The question is - Can I get through the next 3 classes and then Accounting in hopes I can then change to online classes?
I don't know what to do. I know my husband will be there to support and help me through, whatever I end up doing. I just can't see myself spending every Monday night for the next 2 years sitting in a classroom. Maybe I should've thought of that before I signed up to go back to school --- or maybe, just maybe, switching to an online format is just what I need to get through it.
For the record, in 2 years, after I am finished with Grad school, be sure to slap me if I even THINK about going back to school! :O)
No comments:
Post a Comment