The beach is calling my name!

I am SO excited! My husband and I are finally taking a trip to the beach. We haven't had a vacation in over six years and we never did get to take a honeymoon. But, it is going to happen at the end of May!

My best friend from high school is getting remarried and asked me to stand up for her. It will be a beach wedding in Panama City Beach, FL on 6/4/16, which is only 2 days after our wedding anniversary. Because I'll need to be there for a rehearsal, I decided I did not want to spend our anniversary in the car. So -- I started looking at our options and was able to find a condo for the week. I also have a super boss because, even though I just started my job last month, she is letting me take the week off after Memorial Day for our trip to the sunshine state.

I can hear the ocean waves, I can smell the ocean breeze, I can feel the sand between my toes... and it will all become a reality in about 6 weeks! The countdown is on!

Hectic, but good!

It has been a crazy few weeks as I try to become acclimated in my new job. But, it is SO MUCH BETTER than where I was. I like learning new things and being challenged in my work again. Just last week, I came home mentally exhausted - just because my brain hadn't worked that hard since... September! I know, it's crazy...

The only major downfall is traffic. Ugh. I hate driving downtown and it has definitely been a challenge to suck that part up. I've had so much tension in my shoulders - but I think it's mostly attributed to that darn commute. My husband took our friends' kiddos to the zoo the other day and bought me a stuffed elephant. I named her Jazzy and she is sitting on my console. So far, she has been helping my stress while in the car commuting to work and back each day. I rub her ears and think of my husband and just try to get home to him in one piece and without a massive amount of road rage.

So, all in all... The job change was a good move this time. I finally feel like I am where I am supposed to be... Now, if only I can get some "work at home" benefits to avoid that darn traffic every day! :P

Week 1 is complete!

What a week! It was overwhelming and exhausting... But it was also wonderful and awesome! My first day was the day I expected in my prior nightmare job. A morning orientation, a tour of the facility, lunch with my new boss and a brief introduction to the team and systems I will be using. It was truly a great day. I felt good vibes from everyone I encountered and the work environment was much more aligned with me and how I personally thrive at work.

Over the course of the week, I sat with several members of team to shadow, observe and get a feel for some of the tasks I will be doing at a later date. While I cannot tell you much of what I observed and I definitely cannot perform any of the tasks yet, I received a high level view of the job and I am feeling good about it. This was a good move. This is where I am supposed to be.

As great as the work environment and job seem at this point, commuting downtown has NOT been fun. In the mornings, it takes me about 35 min. The afternoons have been up to an hour. Compare that will 12-15 min back road commutes and it has been a definite change. To bat, I have to park in a lot a block away from our building. Admittedly, I am not in the best shape, so I spent much of the week with sore leg muscles and tired, achy feet. The two things that kept me from applying for jobs downtown for so many years are now the major downsides to my new job. I am still testing out different routes to work, so I hope to find my groove in the commuting world. After all, I drove an hour to work when I lived in Nashville, so I have proven I can do it. I am also hoping that, somehow, my body will adjust to the additional walking and will not be so sore or exhausted after getting into a routine. If I am happy with the job and the people and the company, I cannot allow these two things to jeopardize a good thing. No pain, no gain, right?

Despite the muscle aches and pains, my mental health is definitely improving. Perhaps the medication is doing its job and keeping my anxiety at bay. But I truly believe this job change has played a significant role as well. I am looking forward to week 2 and learning more on my path to being a superstar!

Anxiety on the rise!

Changing jobs is overwhelming!!! There is so much to do... so many things to coordinate... I frankly do not know if I am coming or going at the moment. Don't get me wrong! I am super excited about my new job. I am hoping and praying it turns out better than the one I took a few months ago. God, it HAS to be!

I am anxious. I don't know how I am going to transition without losing my mind. I feel stressed. I feel frazzled. I don't know how I am going to join a new company in a new part of town in a totally new role --- next Monday. Am I ready? Can I do it?

Ughhh... I act like I have never changed jobs before. But this feels different. I have to find some way to cope and get through this week. Maybe if I can get a relaxing weekend under my belt, maybe I can shake off this ADP grit, overcome all of this anxiety and take the big step toward career success.

If not, you will find me hiding in the master closet of our condo with a bottle of rum...

Hello, new job!

Halleluyahhhhh! After a lot of tears, a lot of interviews and a lot of praying, a new job is finally on the horizon. The position I took in October 2015 has been absolutely awful. Everything about it has been terrible... I spent the majority of the first week in the bathroom stall crying, so I knew this was not where I wanted to be. But... finding a new job... the right job... takes time...

I interviewed last week and immediately, I felt comfortable with the manager. To boot, several of my old colleagues work there in a cross-functional department, so it feels like I am going "home" again. I had a good feeling when I left, but I got the official verbal offer yesterday. I am SO excited!! Not only do I get to leave where I currently am, I feel like this new position (and the new company) are a better fit for me. My start date will be 3/7/16, which is soon... but it cannot get here soon enough! The one downside is having to commute farther into downtown instead of being like 10 min away from home... but ultimately, that is a small price to pay for a better salary, a better work environment and a position more aligned with my personal growth and development.

Thank you Lord for making this a reality. I am ready to wash off the depression and anxiety of this current place and start brand new in a couple of weeks!

Lately...

I started a new job in October. It has been AWFUL. It has stripped me of joy at times. It has depleted my energy. It has zapped my confidence. It has removed all drive or motivation to do much of anything, much less blogging. It was definitely NOT the job I expected or wanted it to be and, frankly, I have been trying to get out of there since the week I started.

A boatload of resumes have been sent. Several agonizing phone interviews and a few face-to-face ones... all without any fruits or job offers to help me escape. I even thought, for a moment, that returning to my old company was a possibility. But the powers that be (or the highers up on executive row) pretty much made that impossible. So - it was back to the drawing board.

I received a call from a recruiter a couple weeks ago. I apply at this company ALL THE TIME and this is the 1st time they have ever contacted me. After playing phone tag with the recruiter for almost 2 weeks, I finally have an interview on Thursday. I hate the fact that the office will be downtown, resulting in more traffic and commuting... but I hate where I am bad enough to suck it up, if the job/position/pay/boss are right.

SO, pray for me. Pray it goes well and that this is a good move - for me, my family and my career. My anxiety is through the roof and I need this in the worst way...

Thirty-SIX?? Ughhh!

It's hard to believe I am 36. That is 4 years away from 40. While I feel blessed to see another year, it is painful getting another year older. I look in the mirror and cringe at the site of a gray hair or wrinkle that didn't exist before. I am saddened by sore muscles, achy bones and other signs of aging that continue to pop up and make themselves a presence in my world.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy birthdays... I like the celebrating and feeling the extra love from my husband and a few other people. I just wish getting older was not part of the deal! This year was pretty low-key, which is what I needed. A nice quiet dinner with my husband and drinks afterwards with a few friends. We'd already been in some crazy crowds the night before seeing Carrie Underwood in concert - but it was totally worth it!

So, now, I am the big 3-6. I hope this year is better than the last - and I hope I learn to cope with this aging process a bit better, if it must continue! Here's to a new year of turning dreams into reality and enjoying the simple things in life with my wonderful husband.