Confession...

I have been in a serious funk. Evidently it's lasted a month since I see my last blog entry was back on Feb. 8th. Wow.

February has never been a particularly good month for me. My dad's birthday is on the 2nd. When he was alive but not in my life, it would make me sad to think about him and the million reasons why he should have been in my life. Since he's been gone, it makes me sad to think of what might have been... if at some point, we got our ducks in a row and tried to have a normal father-daughter relationship. My birthday is on the 6th and as I get older, those become less and less significant, it seems. This year, money was so tight that we barely could afford a dinner out to celebrate. Long gone are the days of having a nice party or taking a trip to celebrate birthdays...

Work has been stressful. Really stressful. And I'm overwhelmed and fed up with office politics in every sense of the word. I find myself coming home at the end of the workday and jumping right into the shower, as if to wash away the grime, grit and grunge of the day. Some days it works, others it does not... but that is not something I've ever done before. I'm definitely at a crossroads and looking for answers on where to go from here. I need a slap-me-upside-the-head sign though because subtle hints are not enough for me to take a leap of faith. As I was researching last week and trying to figure out what I am "worth" to my current employer, I came across a job posting that interested me. I passed it up though and focused on the research at hand. Until yesterday--when a friend/old colleague emailed me about the exact same job and asked for my resume. I bit the bullet and sent it to her... I don't have anything to lose if they don't call. If they do, I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

One bright spot this week has been "Soft Space". It's a private Facebook group started by my friend, Tracye, whom I met during my time in Nashville. She's a very spiritual woman with a heart for encouraging others and sharing freely what's on your heart. In just the last few days, with a group of about 12 women, I've started exploring my heart and the things that wear me down. We've been journeying back to our inner child and exploring the things we dreamed of, the things we lacked, the things we still carry and need to heal from. Already it has been eye-opening. Already it has allowed me to purge and release some of Crystal that has been bottled up and tucked away for too long. Between that and this blog, I hope I can become a stronger woman, a better friend and more awesome wife.

Friday Letter

dear life: Can you please give me a flippin' break!? I thought this was supposed to be the start of a great year. #epicfail  dear bank: I loathe you. I would be much happier if we could start paying with Monopoly money... Yes please!

 

dear 32: Why have you forsaken me!? dear 33: Please be gentle.

 

 

dear awesome coworker: Thank you for guessing that I was going to turn 20-something this week. Even if you were just kidding, it made the transition to double 3 a little easier. dear mom: Thanks for totally ignoring my birthday for about the 5th year in a row. If you keep pretending I don't exist, maybe one day, I will finally write you off and you won't have a daughter anymore.

 

write-off (noun)
Defined as ---> A person or thing that is given up as hopeless or pointless

dear jammies: Please tell me we have a date tonight. I need you and my bottle of Moscato! dear beach: I miss you. I am going through serious withdrawals. I really need to visit soon. It's been WAY too long!

 

 

dear husband: I love you. I don't know how you put up me sometimes. I stress about everything and rarely seem to find time to do what you're always telling me to do... Relax! I am grateful for every day you love me in spite of myself. dear baby in my belly: Oh wait, you STILL aren't there. That's probably a good thing with all the financial mess going on. But I hope you will bless us with your presence soon. The hubby and I have a lot of extra love to give a special little person.

 

 

Five Things...

Happy Hump Day! 1/2 way to the weekend!

Saw this cute post and decided to borrow the theme for today's post...

5 Things You'll Find in My Bag:

 

1. Chapstick, lip gloss or both
2. My cell phone (unless it's in my hand or in my pocket)
3. Pens. Must have pens.
4. Loose change. I tend to miss the wallet altogether so all the change ends up in the bottom!
5. Dental floss. I HATE getting things stuck in my teeth!

  

 

 

5 Things You'll Find in My Bedroom:

My brain could've totally gone naughty on this!

 

1. An unmade bed. For someone so OCD, you'd think my bed would be made.
2. Clothes. Clean, dirty and undecided.
3. My iPod alarm clock, which I love!! (except when it wakes me up too early!)
4. My husband's cologne 'smell-good' collection
5. Blankets. Lots of blankets.

 

 

 5 Things I've Always Wanted To Do:

1. Start a blog! Check!
2. Go to California and put my toes in the Pacific Ocean!
3. Ride in a limo. Had no prom date and budget was too tight for the wedding.
4. Take an all-inclusive vacation to someplace tropical.
5. Have a family. Better get going on that babymaking!!

 

5 Things I'm Currently Loving:

1. Weekends! I just can't seem to get there fast enough and they're gone in the blink of an eye!
2. Chex Cereal. The Cinnamon one. I. Cannot. Stop. I am officially addicted!
3. Married life. My husband is a mess and constantly makes me fall in love with him all over again. Good thing I am a sucker for his silly faces!
4. That January is almost over. And that my birthday is almost here! 7 daysssss!
5. Friendships. We've been surrounding ourselves with other positive couples who keep life simple and drama away. It's been awesome building those relationships early on in our marriage.

 

 

Perhaps 'Daily' was a tall order...

Maybe I should have called this blog "Weekly Cup of Sparkle". But, I am a newby and I am still getting the hang of this blogging thing. I can use that as an excuse, right?!

The last couple of weeks have flown by. Lots of LONG, stressful days at the office.

While I was sitting stagnant for so long waiting for my days to be filled with work, now that they are, it gets a bit overwhelming at times. But, I love my boss. She's pretty friggin awesome and I haven't been able to say that in quite a few years. The downside to that is: Having a great boss makes you more loyal to your job and it makes the thought of leaving 100 times more terrifying. There are no active plans to leave, but with sucky healthcare benefits, no paid maternity leave and just being paid below what I feel I am worth, I do have to keep my options open if they refuse to...

My husband is back on the job hunt. But I refuse to make him settle for a crappy job or something I would not do myself. It means finances are stressful and we have to buckle the belt a little tighter for a while, but God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He has brought us through harsher, meeker conditions so I know this is only temporary. God is faithful. He has proven it time and again... I just can't let anything shake my faith that He will provide and He has a plan for this situation, just like He has all the other times.

I was able to enjoy sometime out last night with my husband and my good friend Ashley. We went to a painting night (a-la "Sips-n-Strokes, since there was wine involved too). It definitely ended Monday on a high note and was a good outlet from all of the stressful things in our lives. Here we are with our "funky flowers" :)

An eventful weekend...

I am SO not happy that Monday is here. Blahhhhh! It was such a busy weekend and well, I could use another day to recuperate. I ain't as young as I used to be, ya know!?

Friday - I left work a little early so I could stop and pick up the bowling shoes I ordered for Rodney's Christmas gift! What an ordeal that was! But he finally has bowling shoes now! After that, we stopped home for a quick shower and change of clothes before going out to hang with our peeps. The plan was to meet for pizza and drinks, followed by bowling as a way to celebrate Rodney's birthday next week. We had to wait... a while... at the pizza place and my patience was wearing a little thin. Luckily, the pizza was delish and Birthday Boy enjoyed some shots to get the party started :) 

 

Make it a double please!
 

One shot down! Whew!
 

Now he's ready to party!!
 

Then the bowling got underway and this group is a hot mess! We always have the best time... partly because we're competitive and partly because we just we like to par-tay!


 

I was not having a good bowling game!

 
 


But... Birthday Boy got a strike!

 
 









 



There goes "Cannonball"!!

Saturday - This is the morning of the mad race... to find a nice dress for my company Christmas party. I'd ordered 2 online the previous week and neither of them were as nice or fit as flattering as they were supposed to. #epicfail

Luckily, JCP saved my butt on this day and I was able to find a red dress that I actually liked. Me, actually wearing a red dress. Never thought I'd see the day. The party was at the Hyatt, which was a nicer hotel than last year's party. The food was better too. Now, the live band left a little to be desired... I think we should've done drunken Karaoke instead! :P

Here we are at the party. We clean up pretty good :)

Sunday - We checked out of the hotel around 10 and then went for breakfast. Neither of us slept well at the hotel, so a long afternoon nap was definitely in order. I lovvvvvve Sundays like this!

Now, why did Monday have to come and spoil all the fun!?





 

A Friday Letter (I love this concept!)

 Dear Friday -

Where the heck have you been?! I have been looking all over for you and was beginning to suffer from withdrawals... Thank goodness you have arrived so this weekend can finally begin! 

 

 Dear Aging, Sick Body -

Can you PLEASE get with the program and feel better!? After an upper respiratory infection, friggin pneumonia, a strained leg muscle and just achy bones, can you just cooperate so I can enjoy this weekend's festivities? Please and thank you...

 Dear Hubby -

I know you've been feeling down the last few weeks, but things are going to get better. Besides, your birthday celebrating starts tonight and I want you to have a great time! I hate that I can't go ALL OUT on your birthday the way I used to, but I hope you know that I would give you the world if I could... I pray some day you will see yourself through my eyes and realize how truly special you are... 

Dear Macy's -

I am not very happy in the quality of your clothes. After purchasing 2 dresses, one of which I was planning to wear to my company Christmas party tomorrow, neither of them fit right. Ugh! Now I have to scramble sometime between now and tomorrow to find another dress. Oh---and you suck for refunding my money in gift cards instead of actual money. That means I have $$ to spend at a store that I now hate. Fan-tastic! :/

 

 Dear Blog -

I'm having an awesome time so far. I've wanted to start you for years, but it took a little encouraging from my pal "Bean" to get 'er done! So far, so good :)

 

 

 

The ABC's of Me!



 A - Age: 32, soon to be 33

B - Bed Size: Queen - I can't wait for the day I'm sleeping in a King though!

C - Chore you hate: Putting away laundry! 

D - Dog's name: No dog... but when we get one, it will either be Max or Maggie, depending on gender! 

E - Essential start your day item: Used to be 'Dew! Now it's Coke Zero. I am seriously addicted! 

F - Favorite color: Yellow! It makes me happy :)
 
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
 
H - Height: 5' 4"
 
I - Instruments you play(ed): Piano. I took lessons for a while, but I learn better by ear versus reading sheet music.
 
J - Job title: Payroll Administrator. I hope to have a more fun job someday!

K - Kid(s): None. We were waiting until I graduated to start baby-making!
 
L - Living arrangements: Rodney and I have lived in the same apartment since we moved back from Nashville in 2010. We've outgrown the place though and are hoping to find another home in the Spring.
 
M - Mom's name: Catherine. But she goes by Cathy.
 
N - Nicknames: Babyluv, Crystal Meth, "Thelma"

O - Overnight hospital: Once. From a car accident when I was 8.
 
P - Pet peeve: I have too many. People chewing their food loudly. Slow drivers in the fast lane. Bubble wrap. I could go on, but I won't.
 
Q - Quote from a movie: "Nobody likes Mr. Sniffles!" from "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"
 
R - Right or left handed: Right
 
S - Siblings: None
 
T - Time you wake up: 7-ish
 
U - Underwear: I wear them :P
 
V - Vegetable you dislike: Broccoli, Spinach, Cabbage... Basically anything that smells funny!
 
W - Ways you run late: Hitting the snooze button one too many times which makes me run late.

X - X-rays you've had: Right club foot, Chest, Teeth... that's about it.
 
Y - Yummy food you make: Brownies, Frittatas, Cupcakes, Chili, Chicken Salsa Pie
 
Z - Zoo favorite: Elephants!!